Sunday, March 16, 2014

(I didn't want to be your ghost.)

The Monday before the Last Day was the first time I cried about her. I was in the corner of my room. It was also the first time I wished the wood floor was carpet.

I remember that weekend. October. My dad had just bought a new car and my family was all outside, barefoot, walking around it.

My mom made breakfast that morning. I didn't ever like pancakes.



He held her hand as she died.

I talked to him that night and it was the first time I'd ever seen him cry. And I would try and describe it to you but there are no words that explain how wet my shirt was or how red our eyes were or how broken a heart could get. It's the kind of sad that turns crying into broken sobs- like you'll never get enough air.

And it's all about air and air comes in pairs unless it's the first or the last-

and she deserved more pairs then she got.


XX



9 comments:

  1. heart breaking. Beautiful. "she deserved more pairs then she got"

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  2. This amazes me. I had to soak this in before I could comment.

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  3. I can't find the words to place here but you should know that this is a whole new level.

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  4. You are really good at doing what you seem to love to do.

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  5. I keep rereading this. So much raw emotion. Hits you in the gut every time and paints the perfect picture. the whole 3rd to last stanza. mm.

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  6. thank you for sharing all your beautiful brain and heart with us I think we all appreciate it, I know I do. respect.

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  7. totally agree with feathers on fish, just soaking it all in, this is breathtaking. thank you. #top5

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