It's just that people can do all this stuff and fall in love and get the shampoo out on the first try and know all the tricks on Photoshop and get stuff for free and have a savings account and they're parents just also give them stuff for free and they're all yelling "Oh you forgot to clock into work the other day!" And they all own Instax cameras and you feel like you're growing irrelevant and it's scary. AM I IRRELEVANT? And I don't know what I'm doing with anything and I haven't gotten into college yet and twice this week people have complimented me on my skin, which is nice but it's just a weird compliment. And I want to write about you but I can't for so many reasons and I'm in love but I'm also not. Also today started with the thought "THIS IS SUCH A STUPID THING TO BE MAD ABOUT" & I think I spend the majority of my time trying not to be like my mother. My dad and I talked about it in the car today; how this is nothing how a marriage should be. It was a sucky conversation, to say the least. IDK why this is even on here because people don't like sad things. Well. I do have this candle that smells like cotton candy and it's really great. It's too bad I can't just walk around with it and have people smell it and then we would become instant BFFS. (It smells really good.) I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW I JUST KNOW I AM NOT PARTICULARLY HAPPY OR SAD AND THERE ARE LOTS OF THINGS THAT I CAN'T CONTROL. (But it isn't about control?) I don't know. I don't know a lot of things. I don't even know what this post is.
rrrrrrrrrrrrrbye.
XX
Rothko
