Having a Coke with You

and I'm jealous of the cold glass bottle because it is holding your hand and touching your lips
and I'm jealous of the story you are telling about traveling to the Traversera de Garcia in Barcelona in the middle of August
partly because in your button up shirt you looked like a better version of the Boy I've always imagined 
partly because of my love for you, partly because the look of your red tousled hair hits me in the soft parts of my heart,
partly because of how you say first & last names, especially mine
and it is hard to believe that when I'm with you there can be anything as beautiful as the color that runs across your fingertips and down the page and into the river.
In the 9 o'clock shadow, I am sitting by the pond where we used to come and I am jealous of the 9 o'clock shadow you have in Nakatsu that makes the sun go down and the one that makes you no longer warm. But the shadow is with you.
and I am not.

I look
at the polaroid of you and I would rather look at that then the Rembrandt or Renoir that I love and except possibly I would look at Nighthawks occasionally and anyway it is in Chicago
which thankfully you haven't gone yet so we can go together the first 
time.

And I am jealous of the time you spend with the people there and how special you probably seem to them 
and I'm jealous
of the carefully selected words you choose to use with them 
and the tie you wear because it is around you neck and close to your warm skin 

and I'm angry at everyone who doesn't realize your value because
it seems they were all cheated of some marvelous experience
which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I'm telling you about it



XX
Rothko

(To watch Frank O'Hara read the original poem click here)